I would say that I’m naturally a very loud, overly excitable and expressive person once I feel comfortable enough. I won’t deny it. And I also see that it often puts people off. As an ENFJ personality type, I enjoy spending time with people, and I gather inspiration and energy from being around others. But over the years I have come to notice that so often my excitement and charisma are translated in different ways by different people, and that creates confusion, chaos, and overwhelmingly, misunderstanding.
Sometimes I’m ashamed of who God has made me to be – an ENFJ, labelled “protagonist”; a passionate and excited ball of chaos. And because of this, for the longest time, I tried to conceal my own personality by covering up my chaos with calmness; by placing upon myself a facade that made people think that I was something other than who I truly was. My mentality was “if I want to be in the ‘in crowd’, I have to act like them”. But I am only just now realising that most of the girls that I wanted to hang with wore masks because they shared the same shame in who they are.
GOD has made you who you are for a reason. GOD gave you your unique personality for a unique calling. GOD does not want you to be ashamed of who you are. If he wanted for us to hide who He made us to be, He would’ve created us with masks. But surprise, He didn’t! So embrace who you are. (Also, a side note, but if you can’t fully be yourself around your “friends”, they honestly aren’t your real friends. Make sure that you know that).
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
I recently read the most beautiful poem online by Lauren Stamper – called “Dare Ocean”, and as with all poetry, I found something unique to my personal circumstance within the words.
“…but you (always one step ahead of us all, dearest) arrived with a bang and stole the show invaded our hearts like beautiful, a bit-too-loud-at-first, colourful fireworks in the night the ones that take your breath away a little bit… oh the un-named colours that you are.”
I am the fireworks. I am “a bit-too-loud-at-first”, but still I am beautiful regardless, and I light up the night. My uniqueness is breathtaking; my passion is captivating. And so are you. YOU are the fireworks, a bit-too-(insert your perceived biggest flaw here)-at-first, but you are the most BEAUTIFUL colourful fireworks, brightening the sky with your individuality. You are who you are for a reason, so remember that next time you try to put on that mask.
You are incredible.
You are loved.
You are fireworks.
“Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.” – David Deida